I totally and completely woke up on the wrong side of the bed today..Had there not been a wall I probably would have rolled off and fell into the black hole that seems to be forming into my Thursday. I wish I wasn't packing resentment the entire night last night, but how do you speak up in a room full of people who are completely content to be doing what they're doing while your slowing getting more and more anxious.
I feel so frustrated, I feel awful, tired, disappointed. I know I'm acting like a bitch to the people around me and I'm trying my best to contain the negative vibes as best as possible however its hard not to sense a storm rolling in.
He is more then one person and I forget this sometimes, he is not just the one I see, sense, touch - he has other priorities and I just wish he would habe spoken up and told me what it is he wanted to do so that I could have gotten out of the way before the band wagen swooped me up. Dropping hints is passive agressive, keeping it all to myself and sweeping it under the rug is passive and starting a fight is agressive.
I wish I was a superhero and able to plant thoughts into your brain, so I didn't have to say anything to make you address why I'm acting like a fool.
4.6.09
30.5.09
Saturday
Arg. So tired. No words to describe the heavy feeling in my eyes that seems to be weighing down every aspect of my being. I do it to myself so hold the pity. I am very excited about my weekend. FLIGHT 6:50pm this evening DESTINATION Victoria. Visiting an old friend :) very excited to spend some quality time that seems to be much overdue.
photos:)
26.5.09
please let it be good
I am a very strong believer in first impressions not because you can judge a person on who they are, but to measure how much they actually care to let you know..how much..they care?
I don't know.
I know I have the strong ability to hold a grudge >> I wish I didn't. Because sometimes the past good is overshadowed by even more past bad.
Let it go. Let it go. Or deal with what you really feel, but please remember you don't feel anything. Keep telling yourself that.
I only have 3 more months to let it go.
I don't know.
I know I have the strong ability to hold a grudge >> I wish I didn't. Because sometimes the past good is overshadowed by even more past bad.
Let it go. Let it go. Or deal with what you really feel, but please remember you don't feel anything. Keep telling yourself that.
I only have 3 more months to let it go.
23.5.09
mountain party
I miss Golden, and pissing in the bush. The spontaneous nights must fall upon us again very very soon.
nothing like crisp mountain air filling my lungs as I spin and spin to the bass as the sun comes up.
we walk along the path together always at one point or another, we are always there.
Rocks with me from every place
they guide the path back to where I started.
Solid and permanent they always mark place and time.
nothing like crisp mountain air filling my lungs as I spin and spin to the bass as the sun comes up.
we walk along the path together always at one point or another, we are always there.
Rocks with me from every place
they guide the path back to where I started.
Solid and permanent they always mark place and time.
20.5.09
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