***...***

Time creeps away so stealth
you don't
even have the chance
to miss it while you're
having the
time
of your
life.

hmm

In 1374, hundreds of people along the River Rhine compulsively danced for days at a time, swept up in a terrifying mania of mass, compulsive, dancing. The hysteria spread through north-Eastern France and the Netherlands, lasting for months. Similar "dancing epidemics" broke out over the next two centuries. The new issue of The Psychologist features a scientific look at this incredibly strange kind of hysteria. From The Psychologist:

An important clue to the cause of these bizarre outbreaks lies in the fact that
they appear to have involved dissociative trance, a condition involving (among
other things) a dramatic loss of self-control. It is hard to imagine people
dancing for several days, with bruised and bloodied feet, except in an altered
state of consciousness. But we also have eyewitness evidence that they were not
fully conscious. Onlookers spoke of the dancing maniacs of 1374 as wild,
frenzied and seeing visions. One noted that while ‘they danced their minds were
no longer clear’ and another spoke of how, having wearied themselves through
dancing and jumping, they went ‘raging like beasts over the land’ (Backman,
1952). The hundreds of possessed nuns described in chronicles, legal records,
theological texts or the archives of the Catholic Inquisition were equally
subject to dissociative trance (Newman, 1998; Rosen, 1968). Some may have
simulated the behaviour of the demoniac as a means of eliciting positive
attention (Walker, 1981), but the detailed descriptions of astute and cautious
inquisitors leave little doubt that most were genuinely entranced.

title title title..

money, totals, paperwork, applications, waiting.

the dry beaurocratic bullshit rears it's head and invades my mind, interrupting what should be a peaceful summer.

no sense in procrastinating however, might as well try and get it all out of the way now so I am able to enjoy the half of summer I have left to myself.

The preperation I am attempting to accumulate for my life is preventing me from living, and placing me in a hole I am really not looking forward to digging myself out of later on.

I should be excited though, not having to work means I am allowed to do things like study on a wednesday night when I need to as opposed to working. 5 days in a work-week while attempting to go to school full time is not feesable I've discovered. Especially with the added stress of one more class bringing my already full time load to 5 classes.

Live Live Live.

This is what I am attempting to do, my path to success littered with an future, unsuccessful me.

Life Calls

There comes a time when an individual is able to slow down in a persistantly hectic life to let it all swirl by in patterns, forcing you to remind yourself about how lucky you are. Luck perhaps has nothing to do with it, only the premise that you have built the structures around you to live the life you have chosen to live, whether this be positive or negative. My current infatuation for life drives me into tempting thoughts and dreams of things that just might be acheivable. Where is it that Ill be in 4 months? Somewhere the same or somewhere completely different I have no idea. How is that the potentially stale nature of a long-term relationship has the ability to be squashed by you just being you, and us just being us. Everything is dynamic and constantly changing and every time we take another dive I feel elated, and that I could possibly be one of the luckier ones. I realize now, that growing up and maturing is taken for granted but it also sneaks up on you. I now posses thoughts I didn't even know I had the ability to comprehend whether or not I credit them to a specific experience or individual. I have a lust for the world around me at this current moment and want nothing more then to cast away all second thoughts and regrets regardless of the situation and be.

Im..sorry?

have you ever had the feeling that you owe a someone, or multiple people in your life an apology but for the life of you, cant figure out what it is you should be apologizing for?
I can't figure out however if the apologetic nature of my personality is now choosing to rear its head
or if there is legitimate cause for my feelings of guilt.

constant

thoughts in my head spin around as they have relentlessly been doing so since I was able to comprehend what it was exactly I was thinking. I toy with ideas, I try some out, sometimes I succeed, most of the time I always fail. thank you lack of will power, you've helped keep me where I'm supposed to be. If you don't succeed, try try again.

i found a calm center on google images