mouth wide shut

I totally and completely woke up on the wrong side of the bed today..Had there not been a wall I probably would have rolled off and fell into the black hole that seems to be forming into my Thursday. I wish I wasn't packing resentment the entire night last night, but how do you speak up in a room full of people who are completely content to be doing what they're doing while your slowing getting more and more anxious.

I feel so frustrated, I feel awful, tired, disappointed. I know I'm acting like a bitch to the people around me and I'm trying my best to contain the negative vibes as best as possible however its hard not to sense a storm rolling in.

He is more then one person and I forget this sometimes, he is not just the one I see, sense, touch - he has other priorities and I just wish he would habe spoken up and told me what it is he wanted to do so that I could have gotten out of the way before the band wagen swooped me up. Dropping hints is passive agressive, keeping it all to myself and sweeping it under the rug is passive and starting a fight is agressive.

I wish I was a superhero and able to plant thoughts into your brain, so I didn't have to say anything to make you address why I'm acting like a fool.